


I rope you'll love yourself like I love you

by potatoes_are_required



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged up characters, Body Worship, Fluff, M/M, Post Graduation, S&M, SO MUCH FLUFF, There will be some poorly written smut maybe in the future, but for now it's fluff central, gdi Tsukki love yourself more, more tags will be added as more is written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-04 03:15:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6639040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatoes_are_required/pseuds/potatoes_are_required
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo wanted nothing more than to help Kei realise how amazing of a person he was. His heart would break a little more every time Kei shied away from compliments and he was determined to find a way to help him. After a shaky night Kuroo discovers a method that seems, admittedly, far fetched but may just work.<br/>Or at least he hopes it will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh firstly yes the title is a pun, I'm bad at titles but meh whatever. Hope you like the story, it was a strange Idea, i admit. It's probably going to end up a lot fluffier than one could expect but I love fluff. If you've got any suggestions or whatever lemme know.  
> Hope you enjoy  
> \-- spud

He’d never felt as warm, as happy, as he did with the blonde by his side. It had been a challenge to get Tsukishima to fall for him, but it seemed that perseverance had won out in the end. Kuroo had proved his feelings were more than just a passing flash of lust and his constant attempts at courting had been the proof. He supposed it was that in combination with his good looks, intelligence and volleyball prowess that had won Kei over.  
That or the cat puns.  
Even though it had been a few years since the blond had finally agreed to date him, Kuroo could still remember the feeling of butterflies in his stomach every time he had looked at Kei. The feeling of his lips pulling up into a smile he couldn’t control, which for once was not his signature cheshire grin. It was soft, gentle, like the blossoming love between the two of them.  
Their first kiss was similar, though the electricity ignited the Nekoma captain’s nerves and caused his breath to shudder as he pulled back, lips tingling and body alight as he stared into Tsukishima’s eyes, his own wide as if the very act of the kiss had opened his eyes to the world. It was exhilarating, as was their first time. The nerves, the electricity, the adoration. It was there and palpable between them. They were moments that Kuroo would never forget; would always treasure.  
Along with them, however, was a reminder that the middle blocker was having troubles with things. It was a reoccurring trend that had him worried, more so as their relationship went on. Even after two years of dating and one year of living together in their Tokyo apartment, Kuroo had seen the hesitation, the huffed words of “shut up” at any mention of endearment towards the other. It hurt to see this happen and Kuroo wanted to help.  
It was brought to his attention even more at this current moment. Their bodies intertwined as they laid sprawled haphazardly on the couch. The blanket they had previously been cuddled up with now forgotten; forgotten on the floor. They were both panting lightly, Kuroo’s face delightfully flushed as was the boy’s beneath him. His lips were tingling and he ran his tongue over them lightly, watching as Kei’s eyes instinctively followed the movement.  
He took a second to take in the other; glasses free, red lipped and gasping. They stared wide eyed at each other, the feelings of exhilaration never extinguishing no matter how many times they kissed. Kuroo was quick to lean in again, capturing the other’s lips easily with his own. Their mouths, tongues, moved in sync as if it were a dance that they both knew by memory. It was enough to let a soft sigh slip through Kuroo’s lips and a sweet moan from Kei.  
From there it was only natural that things would escalate. Their shirts were soon fluttering to the floor. Mouths pressed together with a new-found urgency, bodies pressing together as they tried to get closer, wanting no space between them.  
Foreheads pressed together as they panted, eyes half-mast and darkened with the growing lust and heat surrounding the pair. Kuroo pressed one last kiss to the other before pulling back, taking a moment to appreciate the other splayed out on their couch, panting and glowing in the soft glow of the lamp by them. It was breathtaking.  
“You’re so beautiful, Kei.” He couldn’t help but breathe out, pressing soft kisses into the other’s fingertips. The reaction was instantaneous; lips pulling into a frown, cheeks heating up impossibly red and head turning to the side to hide his face.  
“Shut up.”  
“But you’re so beautiful, the way you look in the light, it’s enchanting, Kei. You’re gorgeous.”  
The reaction he got was less than desired as he watched the other grow stiff, white teeth biting into a plump, kiss bruised, lips. Kuroo looked on, confused, as Kei swiftly pushed the other off him, curling up on himself as he kept his head away from the other, purposely avoiding eye contact. It was clear the mood was lost and Kuroo had felt like he’d fucked up big time.  
“Kei, I – “  
“I said shut up.”  
There was a tense moment, neither of them saying anything before Tsukishima let out a sigh, arms crossed over his chest as if he was trying to hide, blunt fingernails digging into his skin.  
“I’m going to bed.”  
He watched with increasing worry as the blonde moved towards their bedroom, an arm stretching outwards towards him but pausing, thinking better of it. Kuroo was left alone, in the lounge, eyes on where Kei had disappeared to before looking back to the couch. He knew Tsukki would get uncomfortable, sometimes, with praise. He’d never seen it this bad, before.  
He’d always thought it was just some part of growing up; Kei was still a growing boy and puberty had no doubt only just started to take effect. The hesitation towards praise was surely, in Kuroo’s mind, due to him being so uncomfortable with the changes. Everyone had been at some point, he’d reasoned, but now. Kei was a fully grown man and yet he still shied away, hesitated, and sometimes would not accept even the smallest of compliments. It broke Kuroo’s heart.  
He wanted, so badly, to go find the other and try to apologise, but he knew that nothing would come of it. He’d known Kei long enough to realise when he needed space and now was the time. He’d join him a little later once he calmed down. For now, Kuroo had issues to tackle.  
He grabbed his laptop that was sitting off to the side, some movie still playing that they’d forgotten to watch. He exited out easily, coming a hand through his hair as he settled back into the couch with a soft sigh.  
It took but a few seconds to make a quick google search and he poured over the pages, finding each one to be more and more unhelpful or too vague to be of any help. He wanted, more than anything, for Kei to start feeling good about himself; to feel confident. He deserved the world, he deserved everything, and yet the boy wouldn’t even accept even the most basic of flattery. It was something that seemed so unfair, and so saddening that Kuroo couldn’t help but want to help the other. He wanted to give Kei the wings he needed to really fly.  
He scanned the search pages, growing more and more tired, until he came upon something rather bizarre. It seemed completely out of place, and yet, he clicked into it because of that very reason.  
“Building self-confidence with….S&M?” It seemed so out there, so a-typical. He’d never heard of such a thing in being a way to build self-confidence, however, he supposed when you were pages deep in a google search many unusual things would start showing up.  
“Might as well give it a shot.” He mumbled with a sigh, opening the webpage with a quick click of a button. He scanned the website, finding it rather professional looking; clean and simple. He read over it, the idea seeming more and more enticing the further he read.  
“S&M offers not only the chance to boost one’s self confidence…..but also a way to solidify a strong foundation of trust and honesty…” He murmured to himself. He had to admit, it seemed enticing. Even if it was an exercise to teach Kei to love himself more, and to find self-confidence within himself, Kuroo also didn’t mind the sexual aspect of it either. The thought even brought a small thrill to rush through him. In any case, it seemed like it was worth a try, but not without speaking to Kei about it first. This was something to be discussed, and if his love didn’t feel comfortable then it was back to the drawing board. Though Kuroo really hoped that Kei would at least try it once.  
A yawn broke his train of thought and Kuroo quickly bookmarked the page before shutting off his laptop. It was getting late, and with ideas swarming in his mind it seemed like a good time to head to bed before he got carried away in research and ended up staying on the couch. No matter how Kei had seemed before, with wanting to be away from Kuroo, he knew that by the next morning Kei would be worried, or irritated, if Kuroo wasn’t there beside him.  
With the final soft click of his laptop closing the ex-Nekoma captain shuffled towards the bedroom, sighing softly before the soft click of the bedroom door echoed through the silent apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but here it is.  
> Enjoy~

Kuroo was woken up with a soft, insistent, pressing to his shoulder. He let out a soft grumble of a sigh. It was far too early to be awake, especially since Kuroo had stayed up so late researching. Insistent hands continued to prod at his shoulders, though, no matter how many times he grumbled out a disgruntled ‘five more minutes’ he was still being poked and prodded. He let out a huff, face half covered in the pillow he liked to bury his face into.   
He was just about to lift his head from the soft, pillow heaven, when the prodding had stopped. A soft, somewhat frustrated sigh, filling the room for but a split moment before it disappeared. That caught the ex-Nekoma’s attention more than the disruptions to his sleep.   
“Sweetheart?”   
He called out as he managed to sit up, sheets falling to pool on, and around, his lap as he glanced around the room. It seemed like Kei had already woken up, and by the slightly ajar door, he’d just left the room too.   
He ran a hand though his hair, probably messing it even more than it usually was, but he cared not as he shuffled out of the bedroom. He could hear some noises from the kitchen, and, sure enough there was the blonde standing there at the stove. He felt his lips pull up automatically, even though he still had worry deep in the back of his mind nagging at him.   
He crossed the room silently, his arms wrapping gently around the other’s waist, careful to keep the embrace loose if Kei wasn’t ready for any contact yet. It seemed like Kuroo had caught the other off guard as he felt the lithe form of the once Karasuno middle blocker tense, but after a moment the taller male was sinking back into the sturdy chest behind him.  
Taking that as a cue that the embrace was alright Kuroo hummed happily, lips pressing against the other’s neck gently as he started to sway lightly.   
“Morning Babe.”   
He murmured, lips pulling up a little more as the other’s face flushed, head tilting away.  
“M-Morning.”  
Chuckling softly he peeked at what the other was cooking, lips pulling up at the sight of eggs. Even when neither of the pair were spectacular cooks they managed to get by, and if there was anything that Kuroo always looked forward to, it was Kei’s eggs.   
“Smells great.” He complimented, leaning a little further over the other’s shoulder to press a soft, easy, kiss to the other’s cheek. This only further flushed the other, and Kuroo wore his grin like a victory. Flustered Kei was always one of his favourites.   
For a good few minutes the pair stood, Kuroo watching as Kei made some breakfast while Kei managed to move around the kitchen somewhat gracefully, even with Kuroo attached to his back and peppering soft, open mouthed, kisses along the other’s neck and shoulders.  
With a grunt Kei elbowed the bed haired male lightly, a signal to get off so he could serve the food. With one last kiss Kuroo managed to pull himself away, moving to grab some cutlery before heading over to their small dining table.  
He took the moment, once he’d sat down, to look over the blonde. A love sick sigh slipping from his lips as he watched him move through the kitchen; placing toast and the scrambled egg onto the plates. It was such a mundane task, and even then it caused Kuroo to be in awe of the other’s grace. He swears, there will never be a day where he doesn’t fall for Kei harder than he did the previous. That’s what made Kuroo worry all the more. How could Kei not see how beautiful he was? How precious, important, talented; it confused Kuroo to no end. How could Kei not realise how much he meant to him, to everyone.   
He bit his lip, his mind fluttering back to his late night research. When would be a good time to bring it up? Now, while they ate? It didn’t seem appropriate. Kuroo felt like he should, at least, apologise first.  
As Kei came over and set the plates down Kuroo sent him a heart-warming, genuine, smile. He tugged the other’s chair out, purposely pulling it closer to where he was sitting. He watched as Kei sighed, pressing two fingers to the middle of his glasses in an attempt to hide the gradual recolouring of his cheeks. Kuroo’s lips pursed, wanting oh so much to call the other cute but he bit his tongue. It wouldn’t do him any good if a repeat of last night were to happen.  
He pressed their knees together as they ate, not wanting more than a few moments where they weren’t in contact. Kuroo was a physical person; he liked to touch, to feel and to be close, especially to the one he loved or to people he truly cared about. He found it much easier to convey emotions and comfort through touch, actions, so when he’d started to be in a relationship with Kei it was something the blonde had eventually grown used to. What was surprising, as Kuroo looked back, was how easily the blonde did, as if he’d been craving attention, affection, someone to touch him for quite a while and it had taken someone to do so both insistently, but gently and with permission, to break down that wall.  
A pointed look from the blonde brought Kuroo back to earth, his expression turning sheepish as a hand moved to smooth the hairs at the back of his neck. He looked to his breakfast, his stomach grumbling at the sight of food and the reminder of how hungry he really was.   
The first bite was heaven, he was sure it showed on his face, as he let out a soft moan of happiness, a hand covering his mouth as he chewed – he may have taken a larger bite than he really should but it was so, so, good and so, so, worth it.  
“Delicious as usual.” He praised, mouth still half full. Kei pulled a face of mild disgust, Kuroo laughing at it softly, before they turned back to their meal, eating contently in the peaceful silence. It wasn’t long before they had both finished when Kuroo bit his lip lightly.  
Kei was just grabbing the plates, about to get up, before a muscular arm reached out to grasp the other’s wrist, stopping him. With a gentle tug he pulled the other over to him, patting his lap gently. Kei sent him a look of puzzlement, and Kuroo returned it with one of patient begging. After a long, drawn out, sigh Kei was in his lap and Kuroo couldn’t help the smile bloom on his lips automatically.   
He intertwined their fingers, comparing their hands for a moment, before he cleared his through, his face toning down into one much more serious.  
“Kei, I wanted to apologise for last night.” He began, thumb smoothing circles into the back of the other’s hand as he looked into amber irises. He waited, as long as needed, before he watched Kei’s lips purse.  
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He continued, eyes gazing at the other as he lifted their hands to his lips, pressing soft kisses against the other’s knuckles. It seemed like Kei softened a bit at that, a soft sigh leaving his pouty lips as he leaned into the ex-captain a little further.   
“It’s okay….” The taller boy replied, arms loosely wrapping around Kuroo’s shoulders and face partially buried into his arm. “…I’m sorry too, for ruining the mood.” Kuroo knew it took a lot for Kei to apologise too, and honestly, Kuroo felt like he didn’t even need to. Kei had done nothing wrong.   
With a soft sigh he took the other’s face into his hands, pressing a sweet kiss to the other’s lips. “You don’t need to apologise, sweetheart, you did nothing wrong.” He was glad that was cleared up, at least, but there were still things on his mind that he wanted to discuss.  
Before he raised it, though, he indulged himself a little. Pulling in the blonde in his arms he pressed a few more soft kisses to the other, each one lingering a little longer before there were thin, delicate, fingers threading into his impossible bedhead as the pair pressed closer into each other.  
The kiss was as sweet as it was deep, the pace never getting too fast. They were content to just kiss, to feel close and warm, and kiss and kiss. It was only when they needed air that they pulled away, panting softly. Kuroo pressed their foreheads together, a light smile on his lips and cheeks just as rosy as the younger’s own for once.  
His hands smoothed over the other’s hips, taking a moment to admire the moment before his lips were moving, words chosen carefully.  
“Kei….about last night…” He began, and cringing a little when he felt the other freeze, the fingers in his hair pausing before it continued, the pace slower now as he waited for Kuroo to continue. He had to be careful with his words; no matter how many walls he’d broken down during their relationship Kuroo knew that there were still walls yet to be broken, and a sensitive, fractured heart in the middle of it all, thorns surrounding it all like a protective shell.   
Kuroo was ready to brave the thorns.  
“…I, I've been thinking and I think I want us to try something. I want to, help. You're....you're so amazing, Kei. I love you so much, I just want you to see that." He spoke gently, careful, eyes filled with nothing but care and love as he held the other's hand.   
"We don't have to, if you don't want to, but, I thought it might be worth it.....it's a big of a long shot, to be honest, but, I think I want to try it with you, so, would you? Kei?"  
It was like a warning bell had rung in Kei’s mind and Kuroo knew the instant it began. The other squirmed in his lap, his arms already beginning to loosen their hold as the blonde tried to pull away. Kuroo kept his arms firm around the other’s waist, keeping hold of the other. He knew that if he let the other go now, they’d never talk about the issue again and it would be left to fester and infect the other like a poorly looked after wound.  
“Kei.” He mumbled, keeping a firm grip on the other. His words were warm, but held a firmness that stilled the other in his lap. He could see Tsukki’s hands start to shake. It was difficult, he knew, for Kei to come to terms with his own problems.   
“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to…” He shouldn’t be giving him a way out, but, he couldn’t find it in himself to force the other to deal with things. It would have to be willingly, by the blonde, for Kuroo to continue.  
“…but, I think it would be good for you, and for us, if you let me explain it, at least?” It seemed like that, plus the firm hold of the ex-captain that soothed the blonde. His shaking stopped, the blonde finally bringing his eyes back to his boyfriend with a shaky exhale.   
“Okay, okay, you can explain.”   
It was enough confirmation for the cat as his lips pulled up gently in a smile, infinitely happy that the blonde had even agreed to hear him out.  
He turned sheepish as he looked to the other’s hands before looking up again, maintaining eye contact. “Well, last night I was searching around and I kind of…found a website.” He paused for a bit, the thought of it heating up his cheeks a bit and earning a raise of a brow from the blond in his lip, lips turned down.   
“I was trying to look up ways to build up self-confidence and nothing was really looking that appealing or useful. I was about to give up and then I found a site, and, I think we should try out some S&M.” He blurted out the last bit a little fast, somehow finding it somewhat embarrassing to say out loud, even though he’s gone over it in his head a few times.  
“It’s, not all about the sexual element, though…”, he quickly clarified, “…it’s just, it was describing how you can grow to be more confident through it, and all the praise that can be involved. The communication; it’s a way to become more honest and strengthen our relationships foundations.”  
He didn’t think they needed help, he loved their relationship, he loved Kei and there was nothing wrong. But this could help them break through those last few walls and finally be as close as they could and enjoy everything life had to offer.  
“So, Kei….?”  
“You’re joking.”  
That caught Kuroo off guard. His lips parted almost comically, easing the tenseness of the situation.   
“I’m…what?”   
“You’re joking, right? You can’t be serious.”  
It seemed like Kei wasn’t at all believing Kuroo, like Kuroo was trying to play a joke on him or something. With a sigh he pulled out his phone, doing the same google search he did last night, though much quicker as he found the webpage he was after. He showed it to the other, letting him scan it as he wished.  
“I’m not joking, Kei. I think we should try this, it might work for us.”  
It was silent for the tensest minute of his life before a soft twinkling of the other’s laugh filled the space between them. His lips turned into a pout within seconds, though the tug of a smile was so tempting on the corner of his downturned lips.  
“Kei--” Kuroo whined softly, but honestly the other’s laughter was a relief. He couldn’t help his own relieved sigh leave his lips, joining in with a soft chuckle as their laughter trickled off a little.  
Kuroo’s grip on the other loosened a little, knowing that Tsukki wouldn’t pull away or try to run now that he seemed rather relaxed about everything. He idly stroked at the other’s cheek with his thumb, humming softly to himself.  
“So…you really want to try this, huh?” Kei asked tentatively after a moment of quiet. Kuroo’s lips pulled up, the tense mood broken by their joint laughter and leaving the ex-captain lighter, and a little playful if he was honest.   
“Mhmm, I wouldn’t mind seeing you dominate over me, you know. Tell me I’m a good kitty.” He practically purred against the other’s collarbone as he hugged him close, placing a gentle kiss to the other’s clavicle.   
“Shut up, pervert.” Was his huffed reply, but it wasn’t anything close to last night’s words still lowly echoing in his mind. Kuroo shook it out of his head as he glanced back up to the other.   
“I’m not a pervert.” He retorted, pressing more kisses over what was exposed of the other’s chest. “I just want us to be closer, I want to go through this with you, Kei. I want us to experience this together.”   
It seemed like that had a deeper effect than either of them expected, Kuroo’s genuine words so full of tender love directed at the blonde like an arrow to his heart. The teasing blond from before quickly turning shy, cheeks heating up in the most delicious way.  
“R-really…”   
“Really.”  
It was another tense moment as Kuroo watched the cogs turning over and over in the other’s head. He was weighing the options, thinking about it, and Kuroo respected that. He gave him the time that he needed to figure this all out.  
A soft voice broke the silence, perhaps a little louder than whisper as he felt tentative arms wrap around him a little tighter.  
“Okay, let’s try it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know in the comments or something whether you like this ^^


End file.
